Want to lose weight? Get your ears stapled!

(Published on 31 October 2006 in 'Women at Work' - W @ W - a supplement of the Daily Mirror, Colombo, Sri Lanka)

There’s just no end to learning. A Miss Know-All needs to keep alert and vigilant. You need to keep yourself updated with what is latest in just about every field. I’d hate to be a ‘had-been’ – one needs to work hard to maintain one’s reputation of being a Miss Know-All. From maturing cataracts to bouquets n brick-bats… we the Miss Know All’s have an answer for everything!

Just when I thought that the only ways to lose weight and rev up your metabolism was to follow a high protein diet, catch enough sleep and indulge in high impact exercise – I was in for a surprise. Over the last few years, an alleged weight-loss method that is gaining ground and popularity is ear stapling. Stapling of the ear is a pretty simple procedure. A practitioner uses a specialised staple gun. The slightly protruding piece of cartilage close to the tragus is pierced. Tragus is a part of the external ear and is a small projection in front of the ear canal. A very thin staple remains in the ear from anywhere between six weeks to three months. The basic idea is that the pressure created suppresses the appetite. Once the body gets used to the staple, it needs to be repositioned. The person has to return to the practitioner to have the ear re-stapled in a slightly different position. Practitioners recommend stapling both the ears to achieve maximum weight loss.

The ancient Chinese practice of acupuncture is attributed as the source of this procedure. Stimulating specific points on the body using needles or finger pressure affects overall health and wellbeing. According to studies, the outer ear and the abdominal organs are right next to each other during foetal development in the womb. The physical connection between these body parts remains via nerve pathways even after they are no longer in close proximity. As per this explanation, stimulating a part of the external ear also stimulates the abdominal organs, including the stomach.

Ear-stapling is supposed to work wonders especially when combined with a good diet and exercise regimen. Believers in ear stapling claim that it can curb appetite reduce stress and increase metabolism. Whether you think it's going to work or not, what’s truly important to keep in mind is that weight loss works best if you focus on eating healthy and keeping active. It's possible that you'll achieve similar results if you leave out the staple and just focus on the food and exercise.

I’d like to close with the legendary entertainer Eartha Kitt’s words:
“I am learning all the time. The tombstone will be my diploma.”

Miss Know-All
wow@dailymirror.wnl.lk